Pity Party or Pool Party

As I sit here amongst a herd of babies, one of which being my own, I have realized something:

Everything in life is a choice brought on by our thoughts which developed our perception of reality.

Sometimes life goes sideways, and you wonder how you got to where you are or how you could ever stand back up. I have been there many times for varying reasons both in and out of the horse world.

I remember vividly the day I was told my 8 year old eventer had osteoarthritis in his spine and would be a pasture puff.

My heart hit the ground as all the dreams and visions that had played on repeat in my head, for 4 years, went up in flames before my eyes.

I also had to scrape myself up off the floor months later when I hit rock bottom thinking that not only was my horse retired. My heart horse. The one every single dream was attached to. But I hated my job. Not just the usual “would rather be on vaca than here”. It was destroying my soul. I barely pulled it together to last 7.5 hours, even on days I was medicated for the depression it caused.

Nothing seemed to be going right.

But, what we must remember, is that amongst all the crap you can still choose your attitude, intentions and focus.

When I finally looked myself in the mirror and said “sister, you need to wash the running mascara off and get your crap together” everything changed. Not the situations I was in. They still sucked. But my mindset shifted and it allowed me to focus on the gratitude, the amazing things I DID have going for me, and focus on building the life of my dreams.

I focused on the positive.

You can have the best plan. The best coaches. The best team but if you don’t have the right attitude you are dead in the water.

On days where I think about joining the circus, flying off to Australia or drinking a whole box of wine forcing myself to have a positive attitude is what saves me.

Choosing to find the positive is how I stay happy. And choosing to find the positive is how you will stay happy.

Not just ok. Not just getting by.

Truly happy.

Now, I am not happy 95% of the time because my life is unfolding in a way that makes it easy.

Heck sister, I am STILL at the job I talked about above but now I choose to see the company as funding the business I am building in coaching. So not only is it funding my dream but it is helping me ignite the dreams of others.

Pretty badass, if you ask me. And, a much more productive attitude to choose.

How do I do it?

In both my fitness and mindset coaching I am blunt and honest so here it is:

It is hard work.

I choose the positive in life. Every single day.

I choose to practice gratitude. I choose to surround myself with people that practice positivity and with things that bring me joy.

I surround myself with people that are also badass go getters that want more from life. That don’t allow me to wallow or feel sorry for myself.

And here is some important truth:

I regulate my thoughts because thoughts control feelings.

Feelings become behaviours.

Behaviours become actions.

And just like that your whole world is clouded by the fog of that one crappy thought.

Yes. It is that simple for one crappy thought of:

I am a failure.

I will never be good enough.

I am ugly.

To derail your whole darn life.

Are you actively regulating your thoughts?

Are you even aware of the thoughts that have become a soundtrack playing in your head?

Are you working to control the way you think of yourself and speak to yourself?

You have to choose to be positive. To see possibility. And no one can do it for you.

There is not one thing running through your mind that you don’t allow to be there.

That you ALLOW to be there.

Everytime you find yourself thinking something negative stop the hateful litany and replace it with something positive.

Like any muscle the positivity and gratitude muscle will become stronger with time. It is true.

Whether you are in a season of ease or hardship you need to realize YOU are still the one that controls how you see it. YOU. Which means only you can change it.

This is real life. Not a fairy tale.

Do not think for one moment it will be easy all the time no matter who you are,what you have or where you live.

Real life sucks sometimes.

And you will have whole seasons that will try to rob you of the energy you need to pursue your goal. Yes, it will happen so be prepared.

But you still have hopes and dreams and they are possible if you keep going.

Some days you will be sprinting towards them with the energy and grace of a gazelle, despite lack of sleep because of kids or a horse show.

Other days you will be crawling and inching your way, wondering if the pace you are going at is making any difference at all.

But you need to keep moving forward. You have to keep yourself in the game. As long as you don’t quit you are STILL IN THE GAME.

You can’t control the circumstances of your life but you can control your reaction TO them.

And, if tough times are going to happen anyway is it not much more productive to see the positive and keep moving forward rather than drowning in self pity, posting vague pity me Facebook updates and starting over once your motivation returns?

When put like that is it not obvious it is a choice!

If you take nothing else from this whole post please remember:

Your thoughts become behaviours. Your behaviours become actions. Your actions shape your reality.

Xo

Ashley.

Why a raccoon can teach you life lessons.

Today I was asked if I could be any wild animal which would I choose.

To many peoples surprise I picked a raccoon. You may be thinking “WHAT!? Of all the animals you choose a raccoon?!”

Yes. And you know why?

Raccoons are adaptive. Spent millions developing raccoon proof garbage bins? Give the raccoon a few hours to figure out how to outsmart the road block. Build a subdivision in her habitat? She will figure out how to use your structures to thrive.

There is no obstacle too great and no invention too advanced to outsmart the determined, persistent and intelligent raccoon.

Raccoons are like the toddlers and youth of the human world. A toddler falls COUNTLESS times learning to walk but they don’t throw up their arms and give up because there are too many obstacles in their path. They keep trying until victory is theirs.

When learning to speak toddlers and children don’t stop learning. They intently watch the world around them and soak up information like a sponge, learning words from their environment (whether ideal words or not).

Youth unapologetically pick up figure skating or gymnastics and fall to their knees. Over. And over. But they get back up and try again. As a youth I crashed to the ground on my skates, trying new complicated spins and jumps, more times than I can count.

But I kept going. I knew my goal and I forged forward without blinking an eye.

Be a raccoon. Find the inner child that NEVER GAVE UP.

As adults we seem to become so wrapped up in the opinions of others, and fear of failure, that we would rather be miserable than try to reach new goals and dreams.

“You want to dump $10,000 into starting a new business?!” you can just FEEL the judgemental comments from friends and family.

“You are trying a NEW diet?!” you can predict the harsh tones as you try one more time at reaching your weight loss goals.

“I knew she would fail”, wait, that one is coming from your inner mean girl BEFORE you even start!

Now, let me say this loud and clear for the people in the back:

WHO CARES.

First, people don’t care as much as your ego has led you to believe.

Second, others opinions of you and what you do are none of your business.

If you fail? News flash. Whatever your goal is you WILL fail. Over and over. Get over it now.

If Sally from Facebook doesn’t like what you are doing with your life? Who cares. It isn’t her life.

If you fall? Great, you will learn what does and doesn’t work, just like the young girl does trying a new jump on the balance beam.

Dream big.

Stop caring so much about failure and what others think….

And start caring more about the quality of your short life.

Stop caring what you inner mean girl says and get out there and

Start proving her WRONG.

A raccoon doesn’t apologize for out thinking the special garbage bin you bought in under an hour.

A child doesn’t apologize for trying 100 times to get their first step.

The 10 year old doesn’t care what you think when she falls off the balance beam after trying for the 20th time to land a new flip.

Friend, STOP APOLOGIZING. To yourself and others. Just go out there and start living.

Xo,

Ashley

I choose to be powerful beyond measure

I would like you to take a moment for reflection. What are the main thoughts that are on repeat in your mind throughout the day. What stories do you tell yourself, and how are those stories limiting your true potential.

Starting today I want you to make the conscious effort to eliminate the following low vibe phrases from your vocabulary:

I want.
I should.
I wish.
I can’t.
I’m trying.
I don’t know.

These words take the power AWAY from you, when you are actually powerful beyond measure. These thoughts, and words, will stop you from taking risks on the things you really want in life. And, the worst part is none of them are true.

Now that you have eliminated those words from your vocabulary I need you to make the conscious effort to fill your vocabulary with the following high vibe phrases today:

🗝️I choose.
🗝️I can.
🗝️I enjoy.
🗝️I create.
🗝️I love.
🗝️I am a badass.
🗝️The answers are on their way.

What you may not yet realize is that what comes out of your mouth comes into your life, so choose your words, and thoughts, wisely.

At this point I often hear “but I am so unhappy in my job, I can’t be positive” or “I can’t lose the weight no matter what I do…”.

These are all your perceptions of reality. Made up stories you tell yourself.

Even if you HATE your full time job and it brings tears to your eyes, and your soul wilts, at the thought of even going in CHOOSE power words. Take your power back.

I CHOOSE to go into work because it funds my personal business I am building.

I LOVE that (employer) is the main financial supporter of my business.

It is also your CHOICE to hate your situation and do nothing about it, whether it is your job, weight, relationship, etc. The reality is NOT that you cannot be successful. The reality is not that you cannot lose the weight.

The reality IS you are choosing not to do the behaviours that will lead to success.

You are CHOOSING to stay miserable or you are CHOOSING to be happy.

Whether you believe it or not you ALWAYS have a choice.

I want nothing more than to leave an impact on this world by creating badass women that realize they have no limits and truly go for it.

Xo

Ashley

Unf*ck Your Life


Coming Summer 2019: Unf*ck Your Life

You are a badass. You have limitless potential. You have the ability to build the sanctuary of your dreams, to build a six figure business or finally start your couch to 5k…

But first you need to get out of your own way and unf*ck yourself.

Ask yourself:

How long have you allowed your thoughts to stop you from taking action on your dreams and goals?

How long have you wanted to do something but failed to take action? Unless you count continuing the scroll through Instagram in a desperate bid to AVOID the action you really need to take!

And I have to ask:

Are you tired of the positivity movement and feel MORE down on yourself for not being able to maintain positive thoughts 24/7? That shit just makes you feel like a failure because very few people are hardwired to be pissing rainbows of positivity 24/7. I am certainly not one of them!

Reality Check:

Do you think Ghandi, Rosa Parks or Steve Jobs were never gripped with uncertainty? That they never woke up to self doubt, or the doubt of others? That they didn’t have sleepless nights? That their genius was just one day bestowed upon them to share with us!

Hell no!

They were gripped by the same fears, self limiting beliefs and self doubt that any of us are but they took action anyway. They pushed aside the obstacles in their way and continued to strive into the unknown.

They took action DESPITE their doubts or mindset on any given day.

People can have perfect rainbow and butterfly positivity thoughts, 24/7, and accomplish absolutely nothing in life. Going through life spouting out positive affirmation after positive affirmation without taking ACTION.

And there are people, despite bad backgrounds and a mind that wanders, that put aside their self doubt, take action and accomplish their goals DESPITE their mindset.

Positive thinking is not a predictor of accomplishment any more than a negative mindset predicts failure.

STOP WAITING!

I am tired of people thinking they have to wait for a new mindset to change their life.

You have to learn how to act independently of your thoughts. To stop focusing on your thoughts and focus on ACTION! And, you already know how to do it! You drag yourself to a job you hate, pay taxes and pay bills despite really not wanting to do it! We simply need to focus this ability on actions that move you forward in life!

Also, you must learn how to be relentless in the pursuit of your goals!

In this 3 month mastermind course you will follow through a proven system to master your mindset, take action and unlock your true potential.

It is not about getting everything just right. About waiting for lightning to strike you in the a$$. Just get up and take action. Messy inspired action. The more you flex the get up and go muscle the easier it becomes!

So let’s set big goals, take action and live the life you have wanted for far too long!

In this course you will learn how to change your life by changing your ACTIONS!

To be added to the waiting list please fill out the form below!